respect

What are some of the details our clients obeyed and observed attending a wake?

FUNERAL ETIQUETTE

"I placed pomegranate leaves inside one

of my pocket,

with a copper coin

on the other side,

to protect me." 

It's said pomegranate leaves can ward off evil and protect against wandering spirits following you.

"If I drive my car to the wake,

(usually I don't if I am attending alone)

I will place pomegranate leaves inside a tub of water first, and 'splash' all over my car,

before and after the wake.

I will also place one twig inside my car. 

If I have the time, I would lit an incense, and 'go all over" my car too." 

"I 'cleansed' myself with pomegranate leaves. I go around my head, hands, feet and my bag before I enter my house. I shower with them in a basin of water after." 

Quartz/Amethyst Point

"I place a baby quartz point inside my pocket. I heard the old saying, 

especially if you are pregnant,

it's good to carry something 'sharp' everywhere you go,

and of course,

if you have to attend a wake."

"I wear my double point

black obsidian and beads for protection."

Gold/Silver

Symbolic charm

"I wear my silver (hidden)

"Chu lu ping an" pendant.

But, I removed my silver

anklets with bells."

"I put a 'yin yang' symbol inside my pocket, for protection." 

  • Wear Black or Darker Colours. 

  • Be Serious & Respectful.

  • ​Go to the reception first and Give 'White Gold" (Money in domination of 10, 30, 50, 70...)

  • Pay your respect to the dead, lit an incense. (Ladies, if you are having your menstruation, please do not take the incense stick.)

  • You can go behind and 'look' at the deceased but do not 'touch' the coffin.

  • If you have any questions or curiosity of the custom, do not ask casually. Observed and keep it inside your heart first.  

  • Go to the table, and sit with the family members etc. 

  • Tie or put the red thread you see on the table inside your pocket. You can drop it while you leave the wake later. 

  • Put your mobile phone to silent mode, go outside if you need to pick up the call.

  • Eat and drink at ease, (have one candy) sometimes, there will be majong or cards game playing session to liven the ceremony lightly, do not make complaint etc. ( -_-' )

  • Be Sincere and offer comfort. 

  • Leave quietly without bidding 'good bye'. 

Take Note

If you like a peace of mind before heading right home, Go to a lively/crowded

place.

You can carry

"Tao Mu Jian" for protection. Especially, if you are more sensitive and appeared spiritually 'weaker.

You can carry

"Lei Ling Amulet" for protection. 

Conflict/Chiong

  • It's advisable you do not attend if you are getting married.

  • It's advisable you do not attend if you had someone passed on in your family before 49 days  (min.1 year preferably) 

  • It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating your baby first month etc.

  • It's advisable you do not attend if you are pregnant. 

  • It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating a graduation or birthday. 

If you are holding the wake:

  • During the first 7 days of the wake, You will need to 'tell' your 'buddha/goddess' at home and cover them with red paper. If you have a 'master monk' with you, sometimes, he will do up a ritual for you after the wake, to cleanse your house & invite your 'buddhas/goddess' back.  

  • You don't have to make 'offering' if its during the full/new moon. (1st and 15th of the month) 

  • Leave the lights at your pouch area lit, or outside your house, or living room during the wake.

  • Cover all mirrors at home. 

  • Attached couples, do check with the elders within your family. You may need to 'tie the knot' within 100 days or 1000 days (3years).

  • You can always check with the funeral service company you engage; all the etiquettes and follow them through. 

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