What are some of the details our clients obeyed and observed attending a wake?
"I placed pomegranate leaves inside one
of my pocket,
with a copper coin
on the other side,
to protect me."
"If I drive my car to the wake,
(usually I don't if I am attending alone)
I will place pomegranate leaves inside a tub of water first, and 'splash' all over my car,
before and after the wake.
I will also place one twig inside my car.
If I have the time, I would lit an incense, and 'go all over" my car too."
"I 'cleansed' myself with pomegranate leaves. I go around my head, hands, feet and my bag before I enter my house. I shower with them in a basin of water after."
"I place a baby quartz point inside my pocket. I heard the old saying,
especially if you are pregnant,
it's good to carry something 'sharp' everywhere you go,
and of course,
if you have to attend a wake."
"I wear my double point
black obsidian and beads for protection."
"I wear my silver (hidden)
"Chu lu ping an" pendant.
But, I removed my silver
anklets with bells."
"I put a 'yin yang' symbol inside my pocket, for protection."
Wear Black or Darker Colours.
Be Serious & Respectful.
Go to the reception first and Give 'White Gold" (Money in domination of 10, 30, 50, 70...)
Pay your respect to the dead, lit an incense. (Ladies, if you are having your menstruation, please do not take the incense stick.)
You can go behind and 'look' at the deceased but do not 'touch' the coffin.
If you have any questions or curiosity of the custom, do not ask casually. Observed and keep it inside your heart first.
Go to the table, and sit with the family members etc.
Tie or put the red thread you see on the table inside your pocket. You can drop it while you leave the wake later.
Put your mobile phone to silent mode, go outside if you need to pick up the call.
Eat and drink at ease, (have one candy) sometimes, there will be majong or cards game playing session to liven the ceremony lightly, do not make complaint etc. ( -_-' )
Be Sincere and offer comfort.
Leave quietly without bidding 'good bye'.
If you like a peace of mind before heading right home, Go to a lively/crowded
You can carry
"Tao Mu Jian" for protection. Especially, if you are more sensitive and appeared spiritually 'weaker.
You can carry
"Lei Ling Amulet" for protection.
It's advisable you do not attend if you are getting married.
It's advisable you do not attend if you had someone passed on in your family before 49 days (min.1 year preferably)
It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating your baby first month etc.
It's advisable you do not attend if you are pregnant.
It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating a graduation or birthday.
If you are holding the wake:
During the first 7 days of the wake, You will need to 'tell' your 'buddha/goddess' at home and cover them with red paper. If you have a 'master monk' with you, sometimes, he will do up a ritual for you after the wake, to cleanse your house & invite your 'buddhas/goddess' back.
You don't have to make 'offering' if its during the full/new moon. (1st and 15th of the month)
Leave the lights at your pouch area lit, or outside your house, or living room during the wake.
Cover all mirrors at home.
Attached couples, do check with the elders within your family. You may need to 'tie the knot' within 100 days or 1000 days (3years).
You can always check with the funeral service company you engage; all the etiquettes and follow them through.