respect
What are some of the details our clients obeyed and observed attending a wake?
FUNERAL ETIQUETTE
"I placed pomegranate leaves inside one
of my pocket,
with a copper coin
on the other side,
to protect me."
It's said pomegranate leaves can ward off evil and protect against wandering spirits following you.
"If I drive my car to the wake,
(usually I don't if I am attending alone)
I will place pomegranate leaves inside a tub of water first, and 'splash' all over my car,
before and after the wake.
I will also place one twig inside my car.
If I have the time, I would lit an incense, and 'go all over" my car too."
"I 'cleansed' myself with pomegranate leaves. I go around my head, hands, feet and my bag before I enter my house. I shower with them in a basin of water after."
Quartz/Amethyst Point
"I place a baby quartz point inside my pocket. I heard the old saying,
especially if you are pregnant,
it's good to carry something 'sharp' everywhere you go,
and of course,
if you have to attend a wake."
"I wear my double point
black obsidian and beads for protection."
Gold/Silver
Symbolic charm
"I wear my silver (hidden)
"Chu lu ping an" pendant.
But, I removed my silver
anklets with bells."
"I put a 'yin yang' symbol inside my pocket, for protection."
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Wear Black or Darker Colours.
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Be Serious & Respectful.
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Go to the reception first and Give 'White Gold" (Money in domination of 10, 30, 50, 70...)
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Pay your respect to the dead, lit an incense. (Ladies, if you are having your menstruation, please do not take the incense stick.)
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You can go behind and 'look' at the deceased but do not 'touch' the coffin.
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If you have any questions or curiosity of the custom, do not ask casually. Observed and keep it inside your heart first.
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Go to the table, and sit with the family members etc.
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Tie or put the red thread you see on the table inside your pocket. You can drop it while you leave the wake later.
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Put your mobile phone to silent mode, go outside if you need to pick up the call.
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Eat and drink at ease, (have one candy) sometimes, there will be majong or cards game playing session to liven the ceremony lightly, do not make complaint etc. ( -_-' )
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Be Sincere and offer comfort.
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Leave quietly without bidding 'good bye'.
Take Note
If you like a peace of mind before heading right home, Go to a lively/crowded
place.
You can carry
"Tao Mu Jian" for protection. Especially, if you are more sensitive and appeared spiritually 'weaker.
You can carry
"Lei Ling Amulet" for protection.
Conflict/Chiong
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It's advisable you do not attend if you are getting married.
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It's advisable you do not attend if you had someone passed on in your family before 49 days (min.1 year preferably)
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It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating your baby first month etc.
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It's advisable you do not attend if you are pregnant.
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It's advisable you do not attend if you are celebrating a graduation or birthday.
If you are holding the wake:
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During the first 7 days of the wake, You will need to 'tell' your 'buddha/goddess' at home and cover them with red paper. If you have a 'master monk' with you, sometimes, he will do up a ritual for you after the wake, to cleanse your house & invite your 'buddhas/goddess' back.
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You don't have to make 'offering' if its during the full/new moon. (1st and 15th of the month)
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Leave the lights at your pouch area lit, or outside your house, or living room during the wake.
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Cover all mirrors at home.
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Attached couples, do check with the elders within your family. You may need to 'tie the knot' within 100 days or 1000 days (3years).
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You can always check with the funeral service company you engage; all the etiquettes and follow them through.